Summer in March?

I can't believe the weather we are having! It is as warm here in March as it was in Florida a few weeks ago! Total t-shirt, shorts and flip flop weather. I am so glad to be done with winter for a while. Despite all of that, I am really struggling with self esteem lately. The last few days have been hard. A huge part is definitely my body image. I just feel hopeless. In any event, I am trying to push forward. I know that everyone battles with stuff in life. I guess I just wish it didn't affect me so much. I also wish I had enough self control to get ahold of my issues. Well, enough doom and gloom for today. Just wanted to vent. Carry on....

Crazy Month

Well it has been a bit of a wild month since I last posted. We our lost our boxer of nearly 10 years to heart issues. We still have her "sister" and we are all doing okay in recovering but it was very sad. We lost her right before we went to Florida which was awful. The trip to Florida was okay. The sunshine and warm weather was a much needed break, even though our winter has been pretty light. We stayed with family in Florida and I am now more convinced than ever that this is not a good idea. It is stressful for the people who house the guests and stressful for the people who are guests. This was a lesson that I already knew so I am not sure why I needed this reminder. On the business front, I am stressed out. I have rented a studio space that I will get in Apil. I am very excited about this space but I am also freaking out. I am really questioning if I am cut out for being in business. I know that I love to create and I am good at ensuring orders are filled etc but I worry constantly about the rotten economy and not having a steady paycheque. In weaker moments I want to pack it all in and get a job but when I am making and selling jewellery I love it and want to do nothing else. I really wish I had a crystal ball. In negative news, I have been rejected for the first time ever for a craft show. There was a jury process (as there often is) and I was not accepted. Kind of a kick to the old ego. Moving onward though. What else can I do? Piper Shaw is turning 3 April 7th! I cannot believe it! She is such a gorgeous little lady. Best thing I ever did! I invited her god parents whom we have fallen out with to come to the zoo with us but I don't think they will. I am ready to bury the hatchett and get on with life but I'm not sure they feel the same way. In any event, here is the special little lady with a pony friend.

Valentine's Day

On this Valentine's Day I am indeed in love! We went out for a nice meal on Sunday and this evening we just had pizza but it feels good to love and to be loved. Today I did a nice random act of kindness. I found myself alone at lunch so I decided to treat myself to fish and chips. I went to this little hole in the wall that has delicious f&c. When I got there I saw this lovely, elderly couple that had just arrived before me. They were obviously out having a little Valentine's lunch. They sat at the same side of the table and were clearly enjoying each other's company. I got my meal quickly (it was delicious) and I ate it quite quickly too. I was done before the older couople and when I went up to pay I told the waitress to add their meals to my bill. I told her I didn't want to make a big deal. I just wanted to treat them to their Valentine's lunch. She was very touched. She told her boss and her eyes actually welled up. I asked her to tell them after I had left. I didn't want acknowledgement, I just wanted to do something nice. On another note, I finally bought the Adele cd, 21. It is FABULOUS. I can see why she won a wack of grammys! Her voice sounds like it has been marinated in scotch! It is rich and velvety. This CD will definitely get a lot of action in my studio.

And just like that...

Business has picked back up! I love being creative. I love making jewellery. I love having some freedom with my schedule. I love buying beads and supplies. I hate the uncertainty of sales and money in :( I guess the pros out weigh the cons though. Life is good. I am really looking forward to Florida and hoping to find a bead shop while there! I am toying with the idea of renting a little studio space as well. It would be nice to have something more professional to set things up in and consult with customers. I hate having to bring them to my house. I do love having very little overhead though. If I was to rent a space it would need to be pretty cool and also pretty cheap!! Lately I am loving memory wire. I just love putting together a wild mix of beads!

In one month...

One month from right now we will be in the midst of our Florida getaway. I am so excited! Sun, sand and good times are just what we need! Piper is a bit young for Disney (or so everyone keeps telling me) so it looks like we will do the Florida Aquarium (which I am stoked about) and Busch Gardens. Tonight I actually looked up photos online of the Tampa area. I can't wait to go!!

It's been a loooong time

I am a rotten blogger. Often times I will think of something to write about or even play out in my head how I will verbalize what's happening in life but then I never actually get around to doing it. Then what happens is I feel like I have let it go for so long that I don't even know where to start! Will this ever change? I have no idea. I am going to try to blog a little more. Promise. So, right now we are in the dead of winter and I hate it. I hate everything about winter. I hate the cold and the snow and the poor driving conditions. I really wonder why I live where I do. It would be so much smarter to live in a warmer, nicer climate. And I know I would be a lot happier. I guess that I just don't see it as a real option so I can only dream about it. My daughter is awesome. She is so smart and has such an awesome sense of humour. She's really developing her own perosnality and already doing me proud! Business was great before Christmas and absolutely awful in january. It is picking up again now but it has really made me think about how badly I want this. There are simply some days where I just don't want the hustle and hate the feeling of not knowing where the next order will come from. I definitely think it would be waaaay easier to just get a job where I know every week how much money I will have in my bank. The problem is, I really feel that once I got that job I would be sitting there wondering if I didn't give the business a fair shake. I do still LOVE creating jewellery and my idea bank never runs short (unlike my bank account!)

Christmas Blues?

I am down in the dumps this evening and I have no idea why. I have had a really great few weeks in business, my daughter was ultra sweet today, my husband is great, my new dishwasher rocks but somehow still feeling a bit sad at the moment... I think that I am worried about being in business for myself. My husband has been really supportive and my sales have been scared but I am scared that things will fall through the floor after Christmas. I know that I should have confidence in myself and stay positive but right now, in this very moment I am filled with self doubt. Sometimes I think I am my own worst enemy :(