Landslide

The song "Landslide" really stirs up memories for me. Every time I hear it I think of the many times I would go get hay for the horses when we had the farm in Port Colborne. We rented the loft in a nearby barn to store our hay each year and every day or two I would drive over and fill the back of my pick up truck with bales to feed the horses at the barn. I am not sure what version of the song was out of the time (Smashing Pumpkins maybe?) but I recall often hearing it on the radio while going to get hay.  It brings me right back to those days. Married to a different man and very much leading a different life. I can picture my red F150 truck and I can even smell the hay! Usually I don't miss my old life but sometimes there is a tiny place deep down inside that does...

My own worst enemy

Sometimes I think I am my own worst enemy. On the outside I am told I appear cool, confident and outgoing. Inside however, I am really hard on myself. Always quick to remind myself of my short comings and when things aren't going as planned I am a champion of installing self doubt!
This is something that I have known forever but am really going to try and change. I think it holds me back on so many levels both personally and professionally.
Today is a new day and a new chance to work on improving things that I am unhappy with.
It was also a great day to create something pretty in the studio.
This is the Honey Bee bracelet. What do you think of it?

Chill in the Air

This is my favourite time of year, weather-wise. I like a little chill in the air. I like wool socks and sweaters. I like the crisp smell of the air.
My only wish is that winter wasn't right around the corner...This year I am trying a new approach to winter. I am going to stop dwelling on my dislike of it. I am going to think of a positive thing every day (how pretty the snow looks, how fun it is to throw a snowball) and try to make the most of it this time. No point in dwelling on what you cannot change.
Enough weather talk I suppose.
So for the past year I have been making more of a vintage style jewellery. I like the glitter of vintage glass and I love how pretty the earrings are in this style. It's lots of fun getting new supplies for it as well.  What do you think?

Good News

Yesterday I got some really good news. My Mom has been sick for a long time. She's the kind of woman that doesn't tell us what's fully going on. And on top of that she is Scottish so she's inherently good at digging her heels in. If she doesn't want to tell you something, you wont hear it from her. So, we have been left to wonder. It is obvious that she is sick and it seems to be getting worse but from what, we never knew and how bad was also a mystery. About ten days ago she called me and finally said that the doctors figured her cancer was back. So for ten days and nights I have been worried sick. Getting up in the middle of the night, walking around with a dark cloud over me, meditating my heart out and trying to stay positive. I can only imagine the hell she was going through. I tried to cheer her up everyday but some days she wouldn't even talk. In any event, yesterday we got great news. After a colonoscopy and a scope...no cancer has been found! Of course we still need to find out what is making her feel so terrible but cancer it is not. To that I say...SUCK IT CANCER

I am Paige.

Mother of Piper. Wife of Bob. Maker of jewellery. Dreamer. Writer. Yogi. Meditator. Drinker of Coffee. Cracker of jokes. Eater of too many sweets. Watcher of too much reality TV. Friend. Confidant. Sister. Daughter. Aunt. Big Idea Maker. Happy person. Positive person. Girl with low self esteem. Rider of Tempest. Cuddler of Levi. Mauler of Manuel. I am Paige.

Power of Meditation

About a year and a half ago I started meditating. At first I thought it was a bit hokey and wasn't sure it was for me. Before I knew it though, I began to fall in love with it. There is something to be said about completely relaxing and giving your mind a chance to slow down. I have done group meditation a few times but really prefer to do it alone. I have found several resources online (I really like The Honest Guys and The Chopra Centre) for free guided meditations and have discovered that there are ones for nearly anything that life will throw at you. Yesterday I got some bad news. It's not something that is going to go away or get better in time. It's something I have to face head on and find mental strength to survive it. Today's meditation was really hard to fall into. My mind simply didn't want to relax although I desperately needed a break. I am glad that I stuck with it as it did, as it always has done, helped me so much. the next few months, maybe years, are going to be hard. There will be lots of meditating. Meditation over Medication I guess... (image credit: baubauhaus.com)

Schedule Struggles

Lately I have really been battling within myself. I am not satisfied with how I am using my time but I think I have to let it play out before I go making changes. I guess what I am lacking is time for myself (like most parents). My husband is a kind and loving guy but he works a lot which often leaves me feeling like a single Mom. I would love to have more time to ride my horse and do yoga. I get how selfish this all sounds but it really bothers me every day. It seems like mission impossible to just get out and get my hair done. I feel like every moment is scheduled and when I have down time it's when I cant go anywhere! Gahhh. In most situations I love my life and am grateful. Today I am feeling sorry for myself.