Well it sure has been some time...

So many things have happened. Usually I am one to enbrace change but right now I would like a little less change. On a businss level, the studio/shop in St. George is closed. There were several things that brought me to this decision and I know it is really for the best. I miss the actual space because I found it quite relaxing and calming but I don't actually miss anything else about it. Business was slow and it just didn't make sense to pay rent plus bills for something that I could do at home. On a personal level, I am a little lost. There are good things happening like the fact that my relationships are strong and my horse is FABULOUS. The bad things are that I am feeling a little lost with myself lately. I need to be patient and figure out what is good for me but sadly, patience is not my strongest suit. I have also realized that I have HUGE trust issues. I won't bore you with the details but will just say, I am looking forward to the future although I have no idea what it will mean!

Less Grumpy

I am in a much better mood today. Thank Goodness. Here is an awesome bracelet that I just finished. Enjoy :)

Today I am a Negative Nelly / People are Odd

In the face of change I am up to my regular routine of over analyzing and in depth thought processes over everything. I have concluded (yet again) that we humans are an odd bunch. It is so hard to trust people in this world because they don't seem to give you the full "deal" if you know what I mean. I am a fairly open and up front person. Actually I think it might even be to a fault. I am an open book and I stupidly think everyone else is too. Unfortunately people surprise me in a bad way, time after time. Two things I really can't stand about my fellow humans in general are: 1) Phony people. They say one thing and you take them at face value only to find they are running their own agenda to get their own results. They knock you down and knock what you are doing, meanwhile they would love to be in your position. I wonder would they jump in my grave so quickly? 2) Some people just can't be happy for others. It is as if your excitement and success stirs something up in them that makes them feel the need to take a stab at you. Today, people in general suck for me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Embracing Change

My head has been in the clouds lately! I have so many things happening and so many things on my mind. I am looking at a few life changes and luckily I am one who likes to embrace change. I am starting something new with my business and I think it is going to be a challenge but with a great outcome. I can't get into too many details until things are firmed up but it's a big move and very exciting. On a personal level....we got a horse!! I haven't had one for years. He is very intelligent and very sweet. He is the best form of therapy too! I have been sick a lot this winter and I think it relates partly to being under a lot of stress. I am making moves to alleviate some of the stress but most importantly, I am taking time to do things I love. I still very much love making jewellery though and am so glad I can do this for a living!

Moving On

An early New Year's Resolution? Why not. I have been waling around for far too long, carrying about thingsand peope that I simply cannot change. There are times when I realy beat myself up about it and lately I have decided that it is simply sucking too much energy out of me. I am far better off working on things I can change and focusig obn making my life as nice as it can be. Why did it take me so long to kearn this lesson? Never too late I suppose...

Kindness

Sometimes an event will happen that really makes you take a look at your partner in life and either realize you are with the right person or it will make you wonder what the heck you are doing with that person. Last night I got even more confirmation that I am indeed with the right guy. We were off to Wal-mart to get a birthday gift and card for our neighbour's daughter. It was just getting dark when we got there but our daughter spotted a man with his dog in the parking lot and commented on the cute dog (she is three and she gets very excited when she sees dogs, cats, squirrels etc). I will admit that I noticed the dog but not the man. As we started towards the entrance (Bob likes to park a mile out at all times) the man approached us with his dog. It was then that I noticed his shabby clothes and scruffy appearance. He was walking his dog with a rope as a leash. He asked if we could do something to help him. Both he and his dog were hungry. Without hesitation Bob asked him if he could stick around for five minutes so we could grab something for him. The man was very thankful (but just a little worried he would get in trouble for hanging around). Bob and I hauled it into Wal-mart. He went for dog food and I went for people food. We ended up gathering bread, juice, lunch meat, cheese, breakfast bars, grapes, apples, cookies and dog food. Bob asked them to double bag it and ran it out to the man. He was very, very thanksful. I am so glad that I spend my life with a man who doesn't think twice when someone needs help. I am the exact same way and sometimes I take flack for it. When I drive into Toronto there will often be people begging under the bridge. I ALWAYS give them $5. Usually other people in my car will remark that these people probably use the money for drugs, or why don't they go get a job etc etc. The bottom line is that I believe they are there asking for money because they truly NEED it. If I am getting played, so be it. If I am actually helping make someone's life a bit easier than I am happy to do it whenever I can.

Lessons Learned

I like to think of myself as a pretty open-minded person. I don't have to like everything that a person does or agree with everything that they believe in, in order to like that person. I hope I am raising my daughter to feel the same way. I find that keeping an open mind also allows me to learn life lessons. This has been happening quite a bit lately for me. I have realized that sometimes I can be quick to share a dilemma with people and see what their point of view is. Then I find myself replacing my judgement with theirs. Usually it doesn't feel good in the end. Lately I have realized that I need to absorb the facts, sit back and listen to what my gut tells me. I used to be a good judge of character and I used to confidently make decisions. Over the past few years I find that this has not been the case and I want to get back to that. All life lessons, I suppose. Speaking of a life lesson, a few weeks ago I posted about my daughter being naughty in dance class. We missed dance last week because we went to the Royal Winter Fair instead (we both loved it). Last night was our first time back to dance after that last, bad, class. Piper and I have spent quite some time discussing the importance of listening and being respectful in the past few weeks so I felt like I had sort of gotten through to her (keeping in mind she is 3). Lastnight we went into dance, got there a few minutes early and she apologized to Miss Jennifer (dance teacher) for not listening and not behaving. I was quite proud of her because she sounded quite sincere. Her dance lesson went MUCH better. She participated more, listened more and seemed to have loads of fun! I won't say she was perfect. There were moments when she went a little rogue and did her own thing but the improvement was big and hey, Rome was not built in a day right?